Alright it is time to get back on the blogging wagon. Its hard for me because I don't have Internet in my apartment so I have to schedule Internet time. It's times like these that I wonder how we ever survived without things like the Internet.
Speaking of my apartment. I have discovered that there are many pros and cons to live by yourself. Like it is amazing how long it takes to use up a roll of paper towels or toilet paper when it is just you. and it is nice that the whole house is your personal space. So If I want to walk around naked I do. Not a big deal. Or if I want to have a dance party in my living room by myself. I am not ashamed. Its nice to know that the dishes in the sink are mine. And my favorite part is when I clean it it stays clean until I mess it up. The down side is I have no one to blame when it is messy. Also sometimes too much "Me Time" is a little overwhelming and a lot more lonely. That is probably the one thing I thought I would be good at is hanging out with me, myself, and I. Because I've done it since I was little. But living on my own I think I have realized that although silence does not bother me, being alone everyday and every night does. Because of my job I can go days without face to face talking to anyone and there have been times that I haven't been able to remember the last time I was hugged. I'm not saying that every person that lives by themselves experiences this, but for me I have just noticed that because I choose to have a small social circle in Utah and the rest of my friends and family live in other states. It is not a good idea to live alone and be secluded from civilization. I am actually quite proud that I have made this break through as to why I have been feeling so lonely. I use to just think it was because I was 24 and single, but I am really happy with myself and so when I actually did some soul searching it kind of makes sense. I think as humans we need to interact and have contact with one another. There are certain things I think we need to survive. And just like water and food we also need love and friendship. I have spent so many years of my life never looking people in the eye because of the way I looked physically I didn't think I was worth friendship. I beat myself up and treated myself soo unkind. It was hard because the reflection in the mirror did not match the beautiful person inside. It has been a process. and I know I have written about this before. But just kind of realizing today that I do need to let people in my life and peel back those layers. There comes a point where you cant do things alone.
Speaking of my apartment. I have discovered that there are many pros and cons to live by yourself. Like it is amazing how long it takes to use up a roll of paper towels or toilet paper when it is just you. and it is nice that the whole house is your personal space. So If I want to walk around naked I do. Not a big deal. Or if I want to have a dance party in my living room by myself. I am not ashamed. Its nice to know that the dishes in the sink are mine. And my favorite part is when I clean it it stays clean until I mess it up. The down side is I have no one to blame when it is messy. Also sometimes too much "Me Time" is a little overwhelming and a lot more lonely. That is probably the one thing I thought I would be good at is hanging out with me, myself, and I. Because I've done it since I was little. But living on my own I think I have realized that although silence does not bother me, being alone everyday and every night does. Because of my job I can go days without face to face talking to anyone and there have been times that I haven't been able to remember the last time I was hugged. I'm not saying that every person that lives by themselves experiences this, but for me I have just noticed that because I choose to have a small social circle in Utah and the rest of my friends and family live in other states. It is not a good idea to live alone and be secluded from civilization. I am actually quite proud that I have made this break through as to why I have been feeling so lonely. I use to just think it was because I was 24 and single, but I am really happy with myself and so when I actually did some soul searching it kind of makes sense. I think as humans we need to interact and have contact with one another. There are certain things I think we need to survive. And just like water and food we also need love and friendship. I have spent so many years of my life never looking people in the eye because of the way I looked physically I didn't think I was worth friendship. I beat myself up and treated myself soo unkind. It was hard because the reflection in the mirror did not match the beautiful person inside. It has been a process. and I know I have written about this before. But just kind of realizing today that I do need to let people in my life and peel back those layers. There comes a point where you cant do things alone.
Towel is highlighted. Does that mean it should be plural?
ReplyDeleteInteresting Blog. I ALWAYS want to hug you, but you will have nothing to do with me!!!