I dont know which phrase best suits me this week... When life gives you lemons, or dont cry over spilled milk. We can't control the inevitable. Bad things are going to happen, and the timing is usually impecable. I just want to yell and scream and get it all out. I want to cry and say why me, but it wont do any good. There are life lessons that are unavoidable.
About 2 weeks ago Alex went to work to find out his department had been sold to another company that wanted to pay him half of what he was making the day before. He declined and his old employer handed him a final check. Poor guy. When he called me I could hear the stress in his voice and I tried my hardest not to let him know I was upset. I wanted to be strong and say all the positive things a wife is supposed to say, but then a small little voice reminded me we were having a baby in 7 weeks and I burst into tears. Mostly tears of fear-- the unknown is a scary thing for me. But when I got home that night we updated his resume and appliued for many jobs and tried to stay positive. My main concern is that I did not want this situation to weaken us as a couple.This is something we couldn't control. Alex was one of their best employees and such a hard worker it was just the luck of the draw. It came down to money. It always does. I remember laying in bed with tears slowing running down my facing just thinking about how much I loved Alex and there would be a door open for us somewhere.
There was a tiny crack in a door a few days later when his old employer called and asked if he could work a couple hours here and there for the same wage he was making before. He immediatly accepted because it is better then nothing, but to be honest I was not thrilled. All I could think about is what they put us through the last couple of days and now they are calling asking him to come in because they know he is such a valued employee!? Alex immediatly set me in m place and said there is no need to burn bridges. We need to thank god and take what we have been given. So its not the hours it use to be, but atleast it will provide until we can find him something better.
This past friday we drove up to Idaho to visit my parents and have a baby shower! It was just the getaway we needed and we were soo excited to see everyone. The night before we left Alex's clutch went out in his car and we got a lovely estimate of how much it would cost to get fixed. The car isn't even worth the money it would cost. So now we are in the situation of trying to figure out what to do and I am asking again why me?? This again was unavoidable . Just another life lesson... I keep telling myself.
I am writing all this down not to be a Negative Nancy or for anyones pitty. I really just want to look back in 10 years and remember these times. I know that we can get through it. Honestly it could be worse, and I am soo grateful for all that we have been given. The shower in Idaho was a bit overwhelming for me. Everyone was so generous and gave us the cutest little things for Jocelynne. We are very blessed. Jocelynne is the light of our lives right now and she isn't ever here yet. She has given our lives more meaning and has filled our hearts with more love then we thought was possible to possess. I can't believe we are only 6 weeks away from meeting her. I cannot wait. In a world that looks a little grey these days we couldn't be happier for this special gift we have been given. I hope I can live up to her's and Alex's expectations as a wife and mother.
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