In my head love has always been black and white. I comes easy for me, no questions asked. I am a love addict and in some cases and I will give anything and everything to show the person I love how much I love them. I am a self labled "best girlfriend ever". The problem I am facing is love isn't as nice to me as I am to it. I have never been loved the way I love, and I feel often sad and confused by it. A part of me thinks that the times have just changed. My soul is a traditionalist and my world is full of boys not men. Why is it that makes love so complicated? Why can't it be wrong or right? Why is there grey---- Oh I like them ,oh maybe not, oh there is someone better looking... I don't get it. My motto is that Love comes to those who believe it. So where is it? Where in the world is my love hiding? They say the things in life you want the most and work the hardest for and the things you truly appreciate most. I can truly say that love is one of those things. A part of me worries .... is there really someone out there that CAN love me? I'm not your average girl. I like to crack jokes, and sometimes I am kinda crud and blunt. Don't get me wrong I still believe in being a lady, but who says ladies can't have personality? I don't think I am overwhelming, just not the norm. I think I am beautiful but I am not going to sit around and be arm candy. I am who I am. I can be beautiful and funny, and lovable! It scares me that maybe there is not someone who is the Peanut Butter to my Jelly. I know that I have held myself back. I have always been a little curvy and not sure of myself, but the older I get the better I look. I am starting to embrace what I have been given and learn to love who I am inside and out. Maybe that is the key? Maybe once I have fully accepted who I am and what I can give without losing who I am I will be able to let the right one in. The one who can give me 100%. Well that is what I am dedicating this year to... I am loving myself this year so I can love a husband next! haha xoxo