REALLY!

It was really hard to keep the glass half full last week. It just seemed like life was picking on me a bit and I wasn't very happy about it. Here is my week in review.

* Found out I was apartmentless for the 2nd time in a month and had to find something quick!

* My car decided that in the midst of being poor from putting down a deposit on a new apartment that it needed to had the break pads replaced. There goes $100 I didn't have.

*Didn't get the Job I applyed for at work, although it didn't make me mad I just wished it had come on a different week.

* Almost got rear ended by the Jimmy John's delivery driver.

* Car decided to do other weird things while I was driving home to Idaho. So I left her there to sort out her problems by herself.

* Didn't get to run as much as I should have.

I feel like there are many more things I should put on this list but I can't remember at the moment. Maybe that is a good thing. On a positive note I am watching season 4 of One Tree Hill and I am happy as can be!

I make a good first and last impression

Did I tell you about the time I took out an old lady at church? Well It happened last Sunday! Usually I just hurt myself.. this time I endangered someone else.. good thing she probably doesn't have too many years left. Oh yes! This totally happened. Alright lefts start this story from the beginning. Scott, Janna, and the kids are visiting the in-laws in Levan. So I go down there Sunday morning to visit and to take Scott back to Salt Lake for meetings. With some help I decided to go there in the morning so that I could spend a whole day with the kids. We all went to church and I got beat up by Caden during sacrament, and then listened to a very interesting Sunday School.... small towns have a little bit different church then the rest of us. You never know what you are going to get! lol... Well I walk to Relief Society with Janna.... Okay this is the day after my 5K mind you and then on top of that it was fast Sunday maybe I might have been a little deficient in some nutritional areas... who knows!.. So we are walking and chatting and we go to walk down like 5 stairs to the room and I'm not very sure on the exact events but basically I fell down the stairs my left hand grabbed the hand rail as my right side flew into an old woman and I ended up spinning around and coming to a nice stop sitting on the stairs. haha everyone gathered around and I just sat there for a couple seconds thinking Oh hell please say that didn't happen! Well I picked myself up and was nicely escorted to our room by the friend of the poor lady that stopped my fall. She asked me if anything else was hurt besides my pride, and I said no luckily I don't have to come back here again! Then I spend an hour in Relief Society giggling about the fall. Can you believe my luck?!

Boy you better be scared because I am about to open up a can of whoopass!

Well this is a story I haven't told my mom,.... So mom if you read this I am sorry, but I know you don't sleep well as it is, and I didn't want to contribute to that more then I already do. Oh and I haven't bought mace yet... it's still on my to-do list....

Alrighty! Well I wasn't going to tell this story, but I made a commitment when I started this blog to write down all of my crazy adventures.. that I dont ask for. So the truth is I have lived in SLC city long enough it just wouldn't be the same without a creppy man story. So here goes. Oh and you should know that mentally I am very prepared to kick some butt if I have to. I am always ready! You have to be when you have luck like mine! So... I went on a run the other day and decided to run to my gym which is a couple miles down the street... downhill mind you. My brother let me borrow his fancy GPS watch so I could see my distance and pace. So I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to see exactly how far away the gym was. Plus I knew I was running downhill so I was excited for him to get "the watch" back and to see me run a 7 minute mile.. haha. Well I made it down to the gym in like 12 minutes and was way impressed. However, I was not so excited about working out and then running uphill home. Have you seen those hills downtown?! They are not your average hill.... they are mountains that made me question my initial idea of a fun run to the gym... actaully I was thinking..."Are you completely retarded Corinne! Now you have got to run up this thing because you have on "the watch" and it will tattle on you if you don't!" So I start my run back home and I am trucking along like a '47 chevy on the freeway. Well I pass some construction workers that were very helpful in telling me how nice my ass was.. I was thinking..Thank you very much! I'll take it!.. I have worked hard for this ass! With that motivation I was able to make it up the first hill to State Street! Go me! (slightly innapporproate I know, but honestly whatever works to get me movin that is my new motto!) So I decided to forget the watch for a block or two and give myself a pat on the back for the good work. Plus it was a hot day and I justified that I went to the gym AND ran.. doesn't take much to talk me into walking lol. Well I start jogging again and I see this tall black guy up ahead not moving, just standing in the middle of the sidewalk so as I get closer I decide to make eye contact so he knows I am not someone to mess with. ( I read that that is what you are supposed to do to get a description if you need one) I start to run around him and he grabs my hand and says it is his birthday and he wants to take me home. Well I was calm, which was interesting, and I politely ripped my hand away and said no thank you and ran home. So I actaully didn't think anything of the situation when it was happening. I was not scared or worried. I just got out of the situation and left, and then after I left is when I thought, "Hmmm that that was kinda scary!" Anyways so the good news this week kids is that I did not become a african bride. (Is that kosher to say? Oh well I am not politically correct) I do need to invest in some mace though.. because as much as I would like to kick someones butt and live to tell about it.... if they put me in a choke hold I need a back up. So maybe that will be my next purchase. Three things you should know about me though. Call them secret weapons if you will.....
* I have a mean kick to the groin thanks to a great older brother who taught me that along with other fighting moves.
*I can predict events and situations. It's okay you dont have to believe me. It's only sometimes, and mostly just my own, or if I know you really well. I should be part of the Cullen Family... I am surprised they havent asked yet
*I can run really really fast when I am scared. Like when I am running the half marathon I could probably set a world record if there was a giant spider chasing me.

I can go the distance....

" I know every mile will be worth my while...."
That is totally my running theme song. Awesome right? haha I know!

Well I ran my first race and didn't die or come in last place, which were my 2 goals, so I am pretty dang proud. There were a lot of things that happened in that short time (It was only a 5K) But I learned soo much and I am ready for my 2nd challenge which is a 10K at the end of August. The race started at 7am in Centerville so I got there at 630 and my friend Rachel, me, and her sister walked over. I was soo nervous when we got there because there were just tons and tons of people all over everywhere and some of them were looking pretty intense. And I am thinking.. Oh boy I hope I got signed up for the 5K cause these people are looking like they are running a marathon. I was slightly intimidated and very nervous but I could not stop smiling. I just kept thinking holy cow! How am I supposed to run like normal with all of these people around? When I run I am always by myself I can't have any distractions... total concentration ... even when I went home to visit I had to yell at my mom to stop talking and run ahead of me because I have to get into the zone. So needless to say I was slightly freaked but happy to be there. So the gun goes off and me and Rachel are kinda at the front (not for long I assure you) and everyone just takes off. We round the first corner and everyone starts spreading out so I was feeling a little better about not running over people, and then we pass theses 2 little kids and they are yelling "Mom wait for us" and the mom that was about 3 yards away didn't turn around she just yelled back "Sorry you are on your own" and took off.. as if saying eat my dust kidos... haha me and Rachel just started laughing , and I realized that this was going to be one of the funnest things I have ever done. Good thing I had humor on my side cause as we turned the next corner there was a big hill-Oh SHIZ! Okay so here is my problem... I have only been running for about 2 months now, and I don't train on hills. Partly because they scare me, but also because I am worried I wont be able to run as far without wheezing and cursing if I run up hills, So I just stay away. Well today I was accomplishing a lot of firsts so I attacked the hill and just told myself I was going to keep the same pace, also I think someone else had a hand in this one because there were a lot of little kids around so I wasn't really allowed to curse... Out loud anyways. Well we are running up this hill and I am getting passed by 12 year old kids and all sorts of different shaped people. Then to my left out of the corner of my eye I see this guy passes me and he is in nice dress pants, a dress shirt, with a backpack and stick coming out of the bag up over his head and in front of him tied to the end of the stick was a Subway sandwich, and he is just jogging away! I don't know what his name was but I secretly thanked him and called him my guardian angel for taking my mind off of the hill. Also, Rachel saw him too so I know I wasn't just hallucinating radom men. But really it was soo nice to just be in the moment and be enjoying it. I mean sure I was sweating but I was having fun. So I make it to the first mile no problem, piece of cake. The second mile. That one felt like it was never going to happen. I just kept running thinking okay okay where are you, but it finally creeped up and was a welcomed relief. The only problem I would have to say about the 2nd mile is that I did not appreciate the moms with their strollers and litters of kids passing me. I mean come on! Here I am running with youth, and energy, and happiness, and out of nowhere a stroller is passing me. I was thinking Oh Come on! These are the one people I should be able to pass and here you are... my worst fear... gliding right past me making it look effortless (insert dirty word). It's okay because I decided that instead of being bitter I would instead decided right then and there that I too would be one of those moms that would be called names as she jogged past people with her offspring, and that made me feel better. All and all it was a very good experience. After the second mile I decided to kick it up a bit and run a bit fast, but my breathing got the best of me and I got a side stitch. I have been battling those since day one of running and so I knew I was just not breathing right, but I was not about to stop and walk! No way sister... not this girl. So I had a little chat with my side and said listen, I started this race as a runner and I am going to finish as a runner and I am planning of finishing this race so you can either stick around and watch me finish, or go away and let me be. Luckily it decided to take the high road, and I was able to run up one more hill and around the corner to the finish line. Which was one of the best moments ever! It is hard for me to imagine that not too long ago I was just hoping to make it 5 minutes without stopping and here I was finishing 3 miles. I didn't make great time. I finished at like 41:52, but that is not what is important to me right now. People finished before me and after me but it didn't matter. I was there for me. I ran that race for me, and I met all the goals I set. I didn't die, and I didn't finish last. The best part though was that I ran the whole thing. I am excited to see where I can take this. I know I can only get better, and I am happy to see change. So that is one race down 2 more to go! Half marathon here I come! It is amazing how fast I am getting addicted to this running thing. I do have to give a little shout out to adrenaline though... it is quickly becoming on of my dearest friends.

Ugly Duckling

Training for this half marathon is something that is emotionally draining for me. I have been trying to figure out why I am soo emotional about it. My whole life I have been a fat girl. Always go to food for my emotional comfort and always feeling guilty about everything. Thinking I shouldn't be eating this, shouldn't wear this, or look like this. Without realizing it I have gone through a big chunk of my life feeling guilty over everything. It has always been NO. I have always heard NO. Either from myself,or from other people. I have this voice that just seems to tell me all the wrong in my life and it has been a battle to overcome the feelings of self doubt and accept myself. If you were to look at pictures of my child hood you would see a sad little girl with chubby cheeks and round coke bottle glasses. I, like everyone else, went through my awkward stage. But my stage was a little longer then most people I went to school with, and it didn't help that I was one of the first to get boobs overnight. From a very young age I can remember feeling that I was not ment to be in this body. I remember thinking this is not me, this is not who I am. Why am I dealing with this? And through the years I have learned a very important lesson that I am grateful for..I am the ugly ducking with a killer personality, and I would not trade that for anything. There is someone much smarter then me in heaven. Because of those awkawrd years I was able to find out who I really was and what I wanted from life. I am able to see people for who they really are instead of what they might appear to be. I am able to find happiness in small and simple pleasures. And I dont let a man control how I feel about myself. Those are things that are very important to me and I dont think I would have developed otherwise. Through training for this half marathon I have realized that my layers are slowly shedding, and I am becoming the girl I have always known I was. I feel beautiful inside and out, and it is nice to know I am making this happen. I am saying YES for the first time and pushing myself and letting myself progress

Addicted

There are times in your life when you say out with the old and in with the new and I had one of those life changing moments about 6 weeks ago. I was tired of waiting for a phone call and I was tired of waiting for a man to love me enough to want to marry me after 4 years. I had also slowly given up having a life because I thought I had what I needed and wanted. Well one day it just hit me. I was going nowhere and my 4 years of waiting were going to turn into 5 and 6 years because I was too scared to let it go and let life happen. So I grew a pair and changed my life. I started hanging out with friends and picked up running as my release. I have always been intrigued with people that can run. I would look at them and think well it doesn't look hard....., but it doesn't really look like fun to be wheezing for breath either. But the part that really got me thinking was when running people would say I love running because my body just goes and never wants to stop.. I could go for days... and I'm thinking WHATEVER you liar. I've tried that running thing and I felt like I was gonna die. But then my brother Scott picked up running and he has been doing half marathons and such which makes me think well if he can do it I can, and I kinda want to do it with him. So I decided I would give it a try, plus I was now newly single and needed the exercise. So it has been a process and I do get frustrated but I think I might have found something I am now addicted to. I remember when I first ran a mile without stopping I almost cried because that is something that was unreachable not too long ago. I do need to learn to be patient because I push myself and I think if I ran one mile today I can do three tomorrow and I get mad when I get tired, but I will get there. My goal is to run a 10k by the end of August. And that might be a big goal but I am going to give it my best! Hopefully my body will let me accomplish what I couldn't have imagined doing 2 months ago. I feel like a new women. The weight isn't coming off quite as fast as I want it too but I am told it is because I am building muscle... well there can't be room for both fat and muscle so we are going to have to say goodbye to fat! You better believe I will be one of those girls running in a sports bra and a running skirt next summer!

Head over heels... literally

The Cookie Story

There are certain in things in life that you are attracted to. For instance iI always seem to look at the clock at exactly 4:21 everyday.or it is no fail that if I have a lot on the brain and just am trying to do too much I will always lock my keys in the car. There are just those things in life that happen to me and will continue to happen to me because that is who I am. Well another one to add to the list is falling down the stairs while carrying food. Usually it is a cookie, but not always. So that is where this story is going... The other morning I spent the night at Jacque's house and woke up grabbed a delicious cookie she had whipped up the night before and headed out the door to her car so she could drive me around to my car. Well it had been raining the night before and as I was walking down the metal stairs ouside and I said out loud.. Oh crap I better be careful I am going to fall. Cause I was just wearing flip flops. Well not ever 2 second after that my feet fly up in the air and I land on my back on the edge of the metal stairs.. my left elbow hits on stair, my head hits another, and my right hand hits then I slide the rest of the way down.. haha it was quite the scene I am sure and Jacque turns around and said "I didnt even have to see that.. I heard that! " I was soo proud because I fought back the tears and just kept laughing,.. I was actually a lucky girl because I had my scissors and clippers in one hand and the cookie in another. And the only casualty was the cookie that fell to the bottom floor. I would say that was lucky, but I was pretty bummed about that cookie. Here's some show and tell for ya..